


until i see you again

by iseemikimouse



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Angst, Broken Family, Crying, Gods and Goddesses, Kinda, Lots of Angst, Lots of Crying, M/M, Seungmin is mentioned, and felix is the god of magic, and jung wooyoung too, and yes namjoon is married to chanyeol, but they're all mentioned - Freeform, did I mention the angst?, fallen god!au, family!AU, felix just wants to kiss his husband, hyunjin is the god of love, i don't know which hoseok is the god of the sun, jeongin is also mentioned, just so you know, lets not forget that chan and namjoon are friends, oh he rockclimbs too, or former god of magic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-19
Updated: 2019-09-19
Packaged: 2020-10-10 09:03:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,066
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20525435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iseemikimouse/pseuds/iseemikimouse
Summary: It’s been a long time for a few short minutes. If only he can stop crying to enjoy the softness of his lover’s hands and to see the crying but smiling faces of his children.





	until i see you again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [jayjem_jam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayjem_jam/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Song of the fireflies](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14171244) by [jayjem_jam](https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayjem_jam/pseuds/jayjem_jam). 

> hello! welcome to what i believe is a mess and i've written too many times! i had two ideas for this story, one that i thought i was going to do and this one! i ended up liking this one a lot more towards the end of the fest, so i rushed to finish it. i'm also really sorry, i went an odd way from the original fic but i promise it's there! i try to have some elements of song of the fireflies but my mind had fun. i'm also really sorry that this is so angsty? i wasn't planning on it but then, this story wrote itself. i just stared into my computer screen and typed. 
> 
> i hope y'all enjoy and please give some love to jarofactonbell's works. i love them all very dearly and i hope you will too! i think that's all so enjoy...i hope :D

Felix hangs by a couple of ropes as he dangles off the side of a cliff. The setting sun beats down against his pale skin mercilessly, almost like it wants the rock climber to feel everything it has. There’s not a single cloud in the sky, which he supposes is a good thing but then knowing the person (god?) behind the shining sun, maybe it’s not. Hoseok has been a little brutal with his positioning of the sun since Felix has been here.

He wipes the sweat off his brow belong glancing upwards to estimate how much longer he has to the top. It doesn’t look like long, but once again, knowing the person (again, god?) behind the earth, it might just take a little longer than he wishes. At least, Seungmin isn’t as brutal as Hoseok, at least, this is what Felix thinks.

He takes a deep breath, his mind and his body ready to continue. He reaches for one of the stones and pushes himself up, the climb begins again.

He hadn’t been climbing for very long, but he found that it was soothing enough to take his mind off the painful memories from before. He found the way the rocks dug into his human skin, and the way the breeze flittered through his hair was a feeling that felt more like a punishment than anything else. But he’s glad for the sentence, he must be punished.

He wants to let his mind wander around and to think of what his life would have been like if he didn’t do what he did to anger the others, but with the sky rapidly darkening, he doesn’t have time to.

Continuing to pull himself towards the summit, Felix’s body jolts with excitement. He’s almost to the top, he’s almost to the one point where he can try to see the one person, he’s been wanting to see for the past few years. It’s the burning desire that has him gripping onto the stone tightly and rapidly pulling himself upward, only breathing a sigh of relief when his fingers touch the cold metal of the wrung, he had placed a few months earlier.

Pulling himself over the ledge to lay flat on the ground, Felix sighs. He takes deep breaths, his eyes watching the last of Hoseok’s rays fade away. He can’t help the smile that comes on his face, wondering if maybe his old friend had taken a small amount of pity on him and only left when he knew that Felix would be safe and finally on solid ground. He wouldn’t put it past the god of the sun to do something like that.

He takes a few more minutes to catch his breath before he forces his body to stand. He glances out into the horizon where nothing but the dark greens of the trees, the faded blues of the river, and the incoming black of the night takes his vision. The corner of his lips tugs at the sight, knowing that this is what the humans would call a breathtaking view. And it is beautiful, probably one of the most beautiful things Felix has seen but it’s not the most beautiful thing.

His heart pounds in his chest as he turns away and looks at the top of the cliff. Trees much taller than the ones he just came from are neatly packed together, almost like Seungmin wanted to give a design to this particular spot of the planet. Anemones and camellias are spread around the area, both flowers blooming even more so as Felix begins to walk past them. He thinks, maybe they’re thriving because he’s here, but that thought leaves the moment he steps foot onto a pathway.

The pathway looks rugged and nonexistent with too many stones missing. Grass and dirt come through the cracks, almost like they want to reclaim the area where humans have placed pavement on their homes. He smiles at the thought and continues.

The forest nightlife begins to stir, nightly bugs flap their wings before starting their lives while the footsteps of different mammals begin to sound. The feeling of the night wraps around him like a warm blanket, where he feels safe and protected from the harshness of the world around him. He’s grateful for the feeling, sending a silent thank you to Jeongin and Wooyoung for keeping him a little safe along his small journey.

The trees grow thicker and the path more rugged, but that only tells Felix that he’s close to his destination. The noise of the forest nightlife grows louder than before, the sound of animals playing is what he hears. He doesn’t want to disrupt the creatures but twigs breaking under his feet have better plans.

The snap is loud enough for Felix to freeze his movements and the playful growling stops. He sucks in a couple of breaths, his knees and body beginning to shake. His hands are at his side, but he makes no move to grab something that might look like a weapon. He doesn’t want to attack or kill the animals when they reach him. He wants to get on their right side as they might lead him to where he needs to go.

Felix waits.

He waits for the crunching of leaves and twigs coming his way, followed by the sound of loud growling. He’s familiar with the sound, but this is the first time that he’s heard it since he’s Fallen and in a human body.

“Jisoo,” Felix says, his voice low. “Taehyung. It’s only me.”

The soft footfalls of the animals begin to grow louder and faster at the sound of their names. The growling becomes a sound that Felix has never heard before, and it frightens him just a little. He’s been waiting for the right moment to approach this area for such a long time.

A massive tiger breaks through the trees, the feline’s coat a bright white. Blue eyes are staring at Felix with so much emotion that has him wondering if maybe it was too soon for him to be there. But that thought leaves just as another white tiger comes into view, the red eyes filled with something Felix hopes is tears. He blinks, and the red-eye tiger is no more and in its place is a man who looks to be a teenager. His hands are covering the bottom half of his face. Tears have finally spilled onto pale cheeks before he drops his hands, rushing towards Felix.

“You’re alive,” is what the tiger shifter says, his voice a little higher than Felix’s. “You’re actually alive.”

Felix wraps him into a hug, burying his face into the other’s neck. He feels his own tears pricking at his eyes, but he blinks them away when he peeks at the other tiger.

The other tiger had shifted somewhere in between Felix hugging the other. There’s a soft smile on his face, his honey-brown hair shining much like his coat was. He grins when he catches Felix’s eyes, the blue orbs glistening with his own tears. It’s only when Felix pushes the crying tiger to one side of his body and opens his free arm, does the other tiger rush into his arms and breaths in his scent.

“Hello, you two,” Felix croaks, holding the two of them close to his body. “I thought it would be a lot longer before we saw each other.”

The tiger on his left laughs, his voice wet. “You’re an asshole, you know that.”

“Soo’s correct,” says the tiger on his right. “You’re an ass.”

Felix snorts at this. “It’s not like a had a choice.”

Both tigers pull away, wiping their eyes to take a long hard look at a shy Felix. He smiles warmly at them, his mind going a mile a minute. While he said, it would have been a long time, he really thought that he would never see these two again and that thought pained him. His two beloved children… or the closest people he has as children. He thought that when Jiyong had banished him from the Godsland for three human lifetimes, the sky god would have kept him away from his children but maybe he has a soft spot that Felix didn’t know he had.

He takes in the sight of his children, marveling at how much they looked a little bit older than before. Taehyung’s hair is a little bit longer than before, the white ends curling at the nape of his neck, while Jisoo’s curly hair landed in his eyes.

“Your hair isn’t pink,” he says to Jisoo before looking to Taehyung. “And your hair isn’t blue.”

They both laugh, Taehyung trying not to cry. “I couldn’t go to another color or keep the blue without you. It just wouldn’t have been the same.”

A sad smile places itself on Felix’s face.

“I’m so- “

“Don’t apologize, Felix,” Jisoo cuts off. “We both know you did everything in your power to get a fair trial. It wasn’t your fault.”

And as much as Felix wants to believe the words coming out of Jisoo’s mouth, he couldn’t. Not when all the evidence pointed to him. It’s hard to believe that everything is a lie when the facts are staring right in your face, but Felix didn’t have the heart to tell Jisoo that. So, he only nods and keeps his sad smile on his face.

Jisoo pouts when he sees that the other doesn’t believe him, but a quick jab from his brother has him clamping his mouth shut and reaching for Felix’s hand. Taehyung does the same.

“Let us take you to papa,” Taehyung says. “He’s been waiting for your return.”

Felix’s entire body lurches at the name Taehyung calls his beloved. Before everything happened, Taehyung had pulled Felix aside wondering if it would be alright to start calling him ‘dad’ and his dear ‘papa’ because the two of them were more like his parents than the people who gave birth to him.

“Please,” Felix whispers, a lump in his throat. He’s caught into different emotions seeing his children in front of him and hearing the name that meant the world. He wants to cry, but he knows that the moment he lays his eyes on his beloved, the waterworks are going to start, and the emotion is going to run high.

Jisoo and Taehyung pull Felix forward, their voice talking about everything and anything happening in the Godsland. They tell stories of how Chan, one of the gods of music, decided to travel to the human world and produce music for the mortals (“Something about wanting the world to love themselves?” Jisoo questions. “Him and Namjoon both left for a bit. Jeongin or Chanyeol wasn’t happy about that, but they didn’t stop their husbands.) to Changbin, the god of all things small, finally, FINALLY, asked Jongho, the god of fruit for a date (“It was hilarious, dad!” Taehyung laughs. “Changbin wouldn’t stop stuttering before Jongho had to cut in and agree to finally date him but only if got those odd stuffed animals that humans like.”

“I think they’re called Pocket Monsters or something?” Jisoo says, swinging their hands. “Tae wouldn’t shut up about how romantic it was. Please. Like he can ask Jungkook out. He can’t even look at him.”

Taehyung smacks his brother. “Like you’re any better. Lusting after two gods? Seungcheol and Jeonghan? Yeah, like that’s any better.”

Jisoo’s face turns a bright red, causing Felix to snicker and try to poke his son’s flaming cheek.)

He finds himself laughing at the antics of his children and getting dragged from one side of the path to the other. He didn’t have the heart to tell them that his arms were beginning to hurt or even bring up their other father.

Felix’s heart continues to pound in his chest the longer he thought about their boy’s father and his beloved. Would he still be mad at Felix for trying to correct a wrong? Or would he give Felix a welcome he didn’t deserve? Millions of questions move around his mind, never really settling on a proper answer. It’s not until Taehyung squeezes his hand a little tighter does he realize that he stopped listening to his children ramble about.

“He misses you,” Jisoo says quietly. “A lot.”

Felix’s heart begins to hurt.

“He cried for a long time,” Taehyung says. “And almost got into a fistfight with Jisung and Minho.”

“And he wouldn’t let us take care of him,” Jisoo continues.

“For a little bit,” Taehyung looks to the ground and stops walking, “that we lost both of our fathers that day.”

Felix doesn’t stop the tears from flowing out this time. His legs feel weak at the revelation and rip his hands from Jisoo’s and Taehyung’s hold. He hears them shout, but the overwhelming guilt of trying to correct a wrong is stronger than any emotion he’s ever felt.

He remembers the day Jisoo and Taehyung died in the mortal world before he had the goddess of life bring them back as familiars to both him and his beloved. He remembers holding Taehyung’s cooling hand and crying harder than he had ever done before, but most of all, he remembers the promises that fell from his lips. He remembers uttering the same words he told his beloved on their wedding day, all those years ago.

_ I will never leave you.  _

The memory is too much for Felix. Too much for his human brain to comprehend the amount of grief he put his family through.

He sobs into his hands, violent shudders flowing through his body. He wants to stop them, but he can’t and doesn’t think he ever will. The guilt is so intense in his system that he’s no longer sure that anything can really stop the feeling of guilt.

He wonders if the guilt will ever leave him. He doesn’t think it will, but he has two more human lifetimes to figure that out.

In his cries, he feels arms wrap around his shoulders and pulls him into a hug. Soft kisses are pressed against his cheeks and his head, while comforting words spill fill his ears. The voice sounds so familiar to him that it hurts more than the guilt in his heart. He wants to look at the person holding him tightly, but he doesn’t know if he can at that moment, his emotions too much for him.

So instead, he clings to his beloved, breathing in the soft scent of honey and coconut. He grips at the broad shoulders, the smooth skin soft under his fingertips. He says nothing to the other, only holding him in the odd way that he can.

It’s when he stops crying after a while does he finally begin to pull away from the embrace. He wants to stare into the pale eyes of his lover, drowning into the white pools of emotion. He wants to press gentle kisses to plush lips and watch his singular mole under his right eye disappear when he smiles.

But he knows the moment he lays eyes on his lover, that he’ll be forced away.

Felix tries not to cry again.

“Shh, Lix, I’m here,” his lover’s voice says gently. “I’m right here.”

“Hyunjin,” Felix says, forcing his eyes shut.

“Shh, we don’t have much time,” Hyunjin whispers. “Jiyong has his spies everywhere.”

“Hyunjin,” Felix says again.

“I don’t blame you,” Hyunjin continues like Felix isn’t interrupting his words. “I will never blame you for what you did. You tried to do the right thing.”

“Jinnie,” Felix says.

A choking sound comes from somewhere in front of Felix, and the desire to open his eyes and look at his husband is overwhelming, but he keeps them closed, choosing to listen to the sound of Hyunjin’s voice.

“I will wait for you, Felix. I will wait until I can’t wait anymore,” Hyunjin says, his voice wet.

“Yeah, dad!” Taehyung’s voice shouts. “We’ll wait for as long as we have to!”

“Three human lifespans aren’t that much,” Jisoo says, his voice wobbly. “And before you know it, you’ll be back, and the four of us will be so very happy!”

The sound of Hyunjin sniffling in front of him is enough for Felix to begin crying again. He wants to reach out and hug his small family, but he knows that the moment he does is the moment that everything will go away. His time is up.

“I love you, my beautiful firefly.”

Something plush touches Felix’s lips, but it’s gone just as fast as it came.

His eyes snap open.

The world around him fades to black, but the image of his smiling children is burned into his mind. They wave to him before glancing over to a tall crying man. His pale eyes are brighter than before, but Felix is unable to say anything before the image is gone and he’s by himself.

The moon shines brightly against Felix’s skin, the stone against his hand is cool to the touch. He lets his body sink to the ground, a scream bubbling in his throat. He clamps it down, however, and instead cries silently into his hands.

There’s nothing he can do now, nothing he can do for a very long time. Like Jisoo said, three human lifespans aren’t a long time, and at least he hopes that it’s not a long time.

He curls on the ground, feeling his backpack and encase him. It brings a small comfort to him as he runs his fingers against the faded paint on the ground. He’s somehow made it to the forgotten temple at the top of the cliff. He doesn’t need to look around to see the broken pillars and chipped paint of Hyunjin’s temple to picture it in his head. He doesn’t need to see the anemones and the camellias swaying in the wind, almost as if they’re calling Felix to pick them. He knows the person who planted them wouldn’t mind, he was the one to do so after all.

He stays curled on the ground until rays of sunlight peeks through broken pillars. It’s only then that he forces himself to get up and make his descent down the mountain with little fireflies following his every move.

_ Until the next time, my beautiful firefly. _

**Author's Note:**

> please know that it was very odd for me to write shua and taehyung as felix and hyunjin's children. very odd. but they are and that's that.


End file.
